Sitting around the main fountain under a cloudless blue sky.

You heard it here first, this is the #1 place to be in Paris. Sure, you’ll still want to queue up to enter the Louvre and make your way up the Eiffel Tower, but after you’ve had your fill, wander over to Les Tuileries to mix and mingle with the locals. This is a pretty sizeable green space, especially considering that this is right next to the main drag, and if you happen to be there on a Friday afternoon it’ll be swarming with locals. That’s right, Friday afternoon; the French don’t wait until the weekend comes.

In the heart of the Tuileries looking back toward the Louvre.

Despite all the people that congregate here, the place is quiet, calm, and relaxed. Just watch out for the immigrant women stalking the grounds looking to swindle a few euros out of you, that being said from experience having been too dense to think much about it when one of said ladies approached me for some spare change. Watching her as she walked away, the penny dropped and it was clear she had taken me for a ride.

Local women take a quiet moment just off the main central pathway.

My bitterness and urge to kill disappeared, however, after settling down around one of the many fountains littered throughout the grounds. Whoever had the great idea to populate the area with recumbant chairs and bench seats was a visionary. Take a load off and relax, its what you’ll need to do blend in.

Neptune looking out over the Piazza della Signoria.

The Piazza della Signoria is the main square of Florence, Italy which stands before the Palazzo Vecchio, the historical town hall. The Piazza was also the site where Michaelangelo’s David stood until the powers that be worked out that letting it sit in open air in the middle of a riot wasn’t a good long-term strategy for such an iconic work of art.

David has since wandered down the road to the Galleria Accademia where he and his massive hands now reside, but the Fountain of Neptune still stands outside the Palazzo Vecchio alongside many others in the covered but still open air Loggia della Signoria.

The serpent rears its head.

Statues of this era are reknown for their anatomical accuracy of the male form; Dirk Diggler-esque renditions are nowhere to be seen. Neptune and his little laughing satyrs that adorn him around his legs, however, show a different approach, bringing true meaning to having a snake in one’s pants, wielding the one-eyed monster, or the rare albino form of the purple-headed monster.