Anne Haug bides her time on the run before attacking on the final lap.

The final leg of the Triathlon World Cup was by most accounts (looking at you, Auckland weather) a resounding success. A women’s race that saw the Germans work Anne Haug into contention and allow her to chance her arm on the run and take the win, a men’s race that went the distance albeit by the usual suspects, and no confirmed accounts of anyone falling ill after swimming in Queen’s Wharf (I kid! It’s clean!). It also provided another insight into one of the enduring problems of our time; where to put sponsors logos on the limited canvas that is the swimsuit.

Debbie Tanner rides in her last triathlon.

In her last race as a professional triathlete, Debbie Tanner, in comparison with her riding companions, shows that there is room for one more logo below the others. I’m unsure if this makes Milani a minor or super-special sponsor.

But this is child’s play compared to the master of loin-based advertising; the old-school long distance racer himself, Faris Al-Sultan. Famous for wearing the traditional budgie smugglers (a Speedo, y’all) + crop top combo and for travelling to Kona with only a cardboard bike box with all his other kit packed inside, this man gets the job done the old fashioned way. Bottle holder? Who needs a bottle holder?

As one of the big names in the sport, it’s probable that sponsors must jockey to get their name below his waistline and Asics has previously held that coveted position. Asics has also been a long time sponsor of former professional triathlete, Desiree Ficker who came from nowhere to take second place at Kona in 2006 in what was also a coup for Asics pelvic advertising.

Kate McIlroy breaks from the pack but would ultimately get reigned in.

And there in lies an opportunity as witnessed by Kate McIlroy’s attempt to break from the pack during the bike leg of the women’s final. Front-runner’s earn the camera time they receive and there apparently is room for more sponsors to get on board.

Acis and Galatea.

A colleague once remarked at how only after running around the Jardin du Luxembourg several times did he stumble upon one of the main centre pieces of the park, one built by a Queen and one that Napolean himself ordered the restoration of in 1811. The piece in question is La Fontaine Médicis which sits tucked away under a canopy of trees to the east of the Palace.

At the heart lies two of many statues on the grounds. These two depict the scene of the one eyed (literally!) Polyphemus snooping around and catching Acis and Galatea in a loving embrace. The pan pipes held by Acis suggest he was in a band; a pick-up line that seems to have worked even in ancient times. Perhaps he also had a very large horse pulling his wagon; red, with racing stripes and tinted blinkers.

A peaceful morning alongside the water.

A long pool of water precedes the lovers and the French tradition of having an abundance of seats around to allow people to take some weight off / go on strike applies here. The morning was peaceful and serene with a passing tour group of French women the only voices to be heard. All I needed to complete the scene was a banana and nutella crepe but, alas, I was out of luck.