The view from seat S56 at Etihad Stadium for Richmond vs Freemantle.

First off; for all the eagle-eyed folks, the above does indeed use selective colouring. I stumbled across this image recently which I took when I was young and naive and didn’t know any better. I’ve matured since then and promise not to do it again.

In Melbourne, Australia, there is a very basic rite of passage to be allowed to live or even visit there: you must like Aussie Rules football. I first saw Aussie Rules when flicking through TV channels at university and stumbled across a sport where men in singlets and short shorts grovelled on top of one another to get their hands on the ball, all while the commentator roared in his raspy, impassioned voice: “This is great footy!”. If this was great footy, I couldn’t help but wonder what ‘bad’ footy was like. Never-the-less, it made for interesting viewing and I was able to work out why this is one of those few sports which is popular with women as well as men.

Etihad Stadium was the venue for the night’s match and $20 would get almost any seat in the house. Row S would suffice on this evening, but only after gathering the essentials of hot chips and cold beer. A match between bottom dwellers Richmond and Freemantle didn’t sound like it was going to be a game of quality, but how wrong I was.

While all the media attention was on AFL star Nick Riewoldt’s hamstring injury, cousin Jack kept knocking in the goals for Richmond, who would go on and win this match and allow the best part of AFL to begin. Whoever came up with the team victory songs won’t win any prizes for lyrics, but it’s the highlight of the match. A few thousand joining in to a song written decades ago, great stuff.

Approaching the finish line having duelled with the course.

In 1986 near Wolverhapton, England, Billy Wilson had the grand idea of a race based on the primary goal of bringing together man and mud. The course would be gruelling and littered with obstacles just because, well, why not? As the ultimate insult, entrants would pay for the pleasure.

Fast forward 25 years and the Tough Guy Challenge is now a worldwide event, even in little old New Zealand although here, in the spirit of equality for all, it’s known as the Tough Guy and Gal Challenge. Regardless of location, the key element remains the same: mud, and we’re not talking about the mineral-packed, beautifying, volcanic variety. Rather, the country paddock, cow manure enhanced, malaria filled alternative, not that that discourages anyone from entering.

The final obstacle.

The highlight of the race is the final obstacle; a non-descript creek that for the previous 364 days lived a meek, lonely existence with only the occasional sheep for company. Today, however, it would rise to centre stage and swell to a torrent. All competitors would funnel their way through, working the stream to a mud bath and a treat for spectators. Some sections would become deep enough so that swimming became a better option.

This is what $60 gets you.

Following the pack through the final stream through to the finish.

The rigors of the day take hold.

Despite the cold temperature and risk of infection, good times were had by all. Especially this gentleman. A very impressive pair but a little too symmetrical with an unusually shallow crack, particularly for a bloke. The small children watching the race from the sideline were none the wiser with expressions on their faces to suit. Images have been burnt into their minds and will haunt them in their dreams.

The clean up begins.

The after race clean-up begins, impervious to the ice cold water. A Marilyn Monroe type moment, albeit with a slightly less than Marilyn Monroe lead character.